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Top TWENTY-FIVE (Funny!) Reasons To Vote, And Vote DEMOCRAT!

Editor’s note:
On Friday we shared with you guest blogger Jean Ann Esselink’s list of “
Top THIRTY Reasons To Vote, And Vote DEMOCRAT! ,” a partial list of a series of tweets that she, under the Twitter name “Uncucumbered ,” had sent out recently. I saw them, loved them, and asked if she would share them with you.
Today’s list is more amusing, but equally important. I truly hope you’ll share this — and Friday’s list — with everyone you know. Use the little icons at the bottom to print it out, email it, share it on Facebook and Twitter, whatever you want, but get everyone you know to get out and vote on Tuesday. If you don’t you know what will happen!

  1. If when I say “Mexicans” you think friendly people with a strong culture, and not illegal job-stealers, vote Dem.

If you are not offended when the cashier wishes you “Happy Holidays,” vote Dem.

  • If you have ever tried to say “salam malakim” or “buenos dias” to show welcome to a stranger you should vote Dem.
  • If you think tolerance and compassion are virtues and not a character flaw vote Dem.
  • If when someone says, “The War of Yankee Aggression,” you think baseball, vote Dem.

  • If the words “tax cuts” do not give you an erection, vote Dem.
  • If you never prepared a speech for your “death panel,” vote Dem.
  • If you aren’t afraid of witches, terror babies, or dancing men in Speedos, vote Dem.
  • If it never occurred to you during the Bush years that the Second Amendment allowed us to overthrow the government, vote Dem.
  • If you have no desire to see Barack Obama’s birth certificate, vote Dem.
  • If you are pretty sure you can’t “hug the gay away,” vote Dem.
  • If you are skeptical that scientists have created mice with human brains, vote Dem.
  • If you hardly ever think about who is like Hitler, vote Dem.
  • If Jim DeMint scares you, but Acorn did not, vote Dem.
  • If you make love with the lights on, odds are you’re a Dem, just trust me on this and vote Dem.
  • If you understand the rules of soccer, speak a second language or support the World Court, vote Dem.
  • If you never got around to buying duct tape or plastic sheeting, vote Dem.
  • If you unapologetically drink French Wine, eat arugula, or regularly buy Starbucks, vote Dem.
  • If you have never felt compelled to dress up like a Nazi, vote Dem.
  • If you are too busy trying to make a living to have a Revolution right now, vote Dem.
  • If you make your money the new fashioned way, by earning it, vote Dem.

  • If you think having denied you’re a witch doesn’t necessarily make you qualified for office, vote Dem.
  • If you have never worn “man pants,” vote Dem.
  • If you read the New York Times, occasionally quote Shakespeare, or can recite a poem by heart, and are willing to admit it, vote Dem.
  • If you believe we can do more working together than “every man for himself,” vote Dem.
  • Jean Ann (Jeannie,) included this note in her message to me. I liked it so much I asked her if I could share it with you.

    “For the New Year 2009, I made a resolution to go beyond my comfort zone once a month. For February 2009, I joined Twitter. My first avatar was a sign from the inauguration that read “We have overcome”. My Twitter bio said: “Long suffering Democrat finally in from the wilderness with fingers crossed.” Barack Obama was one of my first hundred followers. There were rainbows on the horizon! We were going to have peace and gay rights and Bush would have to answer for torture!

    “It’s now two years later, and my fingers aren’t crossed any more because I’m using them to desperately hang on. Like so many Dems, I’m down and disappointed and most of all frustrated, not (as President Obama keeps saying) because we didn’t get EVERYTHING we hoped for, but that our lawmakers accomplished so very very little.

    “So here I am, or rather here we Dems are, punch-drunk and war-weary and stung by the bigotry we have seen erupt on the Right, But we not quitters. We are still determined to make it to the mountain top, nails dug into the rock face, gale force winds at our backs, while our calls for help go unheard by the lawmakers up above. (They are way too busy fund raising). We want to rest, to close our eyes and sleep til it’s over, but we know if we let go, we fall back into an elephant dung filled moat the Tea Party is maniacally digging below us.

    “So I rant. I rant to relieve my inner frustration. I rant as a pep talk to myself. I rant to bolster the many other Dems in the Twitterverse just like me who have our chins on our boot tops right now, but who can’t, as the Marines say, “lay down our packs.”

    “Twitter is a wonderful medium for venting. My electronic “Primal Scream”. These are some of my tweets of the heart. I’m doing my best to turn them into battle cries. Use any or all of them as you see fit.”

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    top 10 reasons to vote for me funny quotes Top TWENTY-FIVE (Funny!) Reasons To Vote, And Vote DEMOCRAT! Editor’s note: On Friday we shared with you guest blogger Jean Ann Esselink’s list of “ Top THIRTY Reasons To Vote, And Vote DEMOCRAT! ,” a partial list of a series of tweets...